She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
zippers are such a cool invention
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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