So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
