Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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