loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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