he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
