Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
