THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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