it wasn't lemon gatorade
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
