is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
