I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
