I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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