So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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