i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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