Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
