The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
