that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
