this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
