your room smells of hookers.
And success
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
They have beer where we have blood.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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