I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
