too bad you live with your parents still
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
