No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
