somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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