Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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