I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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