he thought i was a dude.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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