They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
