Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
