that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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