Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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