i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
