I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
