It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
