Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
