Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
