dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
