Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
