She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
