Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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