she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
