Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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