i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
