what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
