sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
