There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
