my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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