I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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