At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
