We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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