you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Rumble strips road head = magical
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
