My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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